Thankful Thursday: new to me bloggers

In my most recent Thankful Thursday post (hmm, July 20. maybe it's a bit of a stretch to use the term recent.), I said that in my next ThTh post, I was going to highlight some of the bloggers I've only discovered relatively recently. The following bloggers are newer to me than others I have highlighted, but they definitely have the gratitude of this blogger!

I am grateful for Karen of Meandering...One moment please. Gorgeous photography and poetry, and a fellow believer in the power of Nature Therapy.

I am grateful for Nicole of My New Normals. Good, honest writing and great supportive interaction with other bloggers.

Thanks, bloggers!

One problem I have with MS blogs is that there are SO MANY out there. I have a solid list that I like and I've come to feel like I know them in some way. And just staying current with that list is tough! I try to check out new blogs from time to time, and sometimes find great ones to add to my list, like the ones listed above. But I have only so much time and energy that I'm able or willing to devote to the MS head space. Sometimes I feel almost guilty for not reading more blogs more often, but that kind of thought process isn't a good idea, so I just have to accept my limitations, I guess. How do you all deal with this, if you also find it an issue?

Challenge Day 20: Where I Write

Missed a few days again, but I'm back for Day 20 of the challenge. Today's prompt is to write about the space where you write. Well, I write in a few different spots, but the following list is always in play:

• It's gotta be comfy. I'm not a sit upright at a desk kind of writer. I prefer to be in a at-least-somewhat-reclined position of repose. Generally, I chill out on the couch or in my big comfy chair with a blanket and my trusty laptop.
• I need the right amount of the right kind of distractions. I can't have too much stimulation, but I can't be completely isolated either. I like to have things to look at, but it can't be so compelling that I can't pull myself away. So, a window with a semi-boring view will do. And certain objects are important. I like being around things that inspire me. I love being around books. I like to have stuff to play with (I tend to need little bursts of distraction in the middle of writing and other creative tasks) like the lime green ukulele I'm teaching myself to play or some bongos to drum away on or some coloring books and crayons. These fun distractions allow me to ruminate consciously or subconsciously on whatever I'm working on and come back to the task at hand refreshed. I should also mention that I'm a card-carrying member of Procrastinator's Anonymous, and I tend to procrastinate even on enjoyable and no-pressure tasks. But it sounds better to talk about it as a boost to the creative juices.
• There's got to be a handy spot nearby to place some coffee, tea or water.

comfiest chair of all time!

That's pretty much it. All of that being said, I have found working in coffee shops and libraries and other public places to be a positive experience on occasion, but I generally find them a little too distracting to do my best work. And, I often fantasize about ideal office/working/reading/creating spaces. I love seeing the different workspaces featured on Lifehacker, for example. This might make me a bit of a nerd, but I'm pretty sure I'm a card-carrying member of that club already, too. What's your ideal writing space look like??

Challenge Day 13: They Who Will Decide

Todays WEGO HAWMC prompt is another great idea that I know from past experience can get the creative juices flowing. Open a book to a random page and choose a phrase or sentence at random - instant title for your blog post! I grabbed Toni Morrison's a mercy from the coffee table next to me. I flipped through to a random spot and counted down to the 13th sentence, in honor of day 13 of this challenge, even though this will only be the 8th post I've participated in.The full line: "Widow who says sssst it is they who will decide." I haven't started this book yet, but that seems about like a typical Morrison line. (I say that with love and adoration for this author, who I studied in some depth in college.) I thought about going with "who says sssst" for the random and absurd quality, but those last four lines instantly got me thinking about a relevant topic for an MS-themed blog.

They who will decide. Who is the they in the future of MS? I know it's almost cruel to suggest that a simple decision is all it will take to ultimately cure this or any disease, and that's not what I'm trying to do. After all, it could be a fluke in a lab somewhere that leads to answers. But maybe it is, at least in part, that simple. Maybe we, as patients and activists, do need to decide to do something. To change the way this disease is studied, treated, talked about. I think most of us in this blogosphere have made just such a decision, and some people are working hard to get the under-utilized resource of the patient recognized. It's no accident that in my imaginative Wikipedia revision, I chose the heroes of the changing of MS is... to MS was... to be patients and bloggers.

They who will decide. There is something almost ominous and powerful in the phrase. Let's all decide to decide in the best ways we each know how, shall we?

Challenge Day 6: Why I Write

Today's prompt in the WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge: "I write about my health because..."

...the basic idea behind my blog is that MS often serves as a muse for me. It can make me think about things in a different way than I would otherwise and it also just makes me think about different things than I used to think about. I write about these thoughts as a form of quasi-artistic release.

...my health can make me feel lonely and writing is a way of connection to others. Even those who are the closest and try the hardest can't really "get" what it is to be chronically ill unless they know it firsthand. I have no real-life friends with MS or other chronic illness, and being part of this health blogging world gives me a bit of connection with others who really do get it.

...I want those people in my life who care to have a glimpse into my health-affected world and I generally express myself best in writing.

...I love the written word and believe it has great power. I write to take the power away from my MS and to turn the ugly of the disease into something better.

Challenge Day 5: a Haiku for you & some witty wordplay

Today's prompt in the WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge: write a health haiku. I chose to emulate MS haiku-ist extraordinaire Judy of Peace Be With You and do it in triptych:

staying in my head

my MS tries to pull me

darkly down and out

catching up on blogs

I see joy, humor and peace

that MS can't take

and then a surprise

the MS muse takes over

and there is much hope

on a hike. oooo, so pretty! (I crack myself up.)

On Blogging

Another post so soon? Could it be that I'm actually going to make this blog happen? No promises, but I'm going to try. I thought I'd share a few words about why getting this blog going has been a bit of a struggle.

The obvious one is I have MS! If you're reading this, you most likely know the drill.....fatigue, focus issues, etc. Sometimes putting thoughts into coherent streams seems like an insurmountable task, so instead I just flip semi-mindlessly though the pages of the web.

A bigger issue for me is my perfectionist streak. It doesn't show up in all areas of my life, but often when I decide that I want to do something, I want to do it right, however I might define that. In terms of blogging, I had the idea that I wanted a set design that I was completely satisfied with, including the appropriate collection of widgets and a perfectly selected blogroll. Well, I'm an indecisive perfectionist and I've had lots of trouble deciding on various design elements as nothing seems to be just right. I became overwhelmed after many little sessions of tinkering and never got around to making decisions....or any actual blogging. As for the blog roll? There are a LOT of MS blogs out there! There were a few I had read off and on in the past, but since I was going to do this right, I decided I needed to comb through the entire list and find the perfect list of blogs that I wanted to keep up with. Once again, I became overwhelmed pretty quickly and never got around to much blogroll-creating or blogging. And I felt it important to post regularly, on some sort of predictable schedule, but the idea of a set schedule felt stressful and again, overwhelming.

So, I'm fighting my nature and trying to let go of my vision of perfection. I'm not satisfied yet with the design, but here I am anyway! I'll tinker here and there along the way. And as for the blogroll? Doesn't exist yet, but I'm not letting it stop me. I have, however, made significant progress in narrowing down the list. It's been a little tough to decide how to rank and rate blogs, but I'm getting there. I tend to enjoy reading the musings of bloggers who write pretty regularly, write well, have a nice mix of MS and life, and have a more positive outlook. I've had to remove from my list blogs that dogmatically preach THE cure or answer or solution to MS woes and those that are ALWAYS negative and depressing. Soon, my blogroll of recommended blogs will adorn this not-perfect-but-I'm-okay-with-that design. And while I still want to post with regularity, I'm not going to require a specific quota or set schedule of myself.

Finally, on a more philosophical note, I've struggled with whether spending time and energy focusing on my MS is necessarily healthy. I don't want to be defined by the disease, and it seems like writing a blog about being someone with MS is at least pointing in that direction. I guess I feel like MS has forced itself into enough of my life already, so why should I purposely add to its voice? I still haven't quite answered this one, but my MS muse tells me that it's a matter of perspective. The refrain of "I may have MS, but it doesn't have me" is a common one in the blogosphere, and I think this perspective is healthy, so I'm adding my voice to the chorus. Also, I've been hesitant to really interact with other people affected by MS (for similar philosophical reasons, I suppose) but in spending time reading so many MS blogs, I've found myself inspired to push through my hesitancy and fears to join and interact with a group of spirited, funny and intelligent fellow humans, who just happen to have MS.