On Exercise

I was a very athletic kid. Most sports came very naturally to me and I loved them all. I was always outside shooting hoops or riding bike or playing something or the other with neighborhood kids. I played basketball at school through junior high and stopped playing only because I decided to focus more on music. However, I continued to be fairly active. In college, I could often be found playing frisbee. I also got into yoga and weight lifting.

My current, post-MS activity and exercise levels are very much lacking. A few years ago I joined a gym and had a very dedicated schedule. I worked out several times a week and pretty intensely. Then I had a neuro appointment, where I complained that my pain had been consistently really bad for quite a while. It took about two seconds for the doc to figure out why - the exercise. It's a troubling catch 22. Exercise is good for overall health and helps certain MS-related issues like energy levels and constipation. BUT for those of us with the delight of nerve pain, it very much exacerbates the problem. Also, exercising too intensely can cause overheating issues which can make all symptoms worse AND can make fatigue significantly worse. After that appointment, I pretty much stopped working out totally.

I used to LOVE that post-workout feeling after a really hard, intense, vigorous workout. It was hard work and I was worn out, but somehow also totally energized and felt incredible. Endorphins are awesome. This no longer happens, ever. If I work out at that intense, vigorous level that used to leave me feeling amazing, strong, and invincible, I now feel completely and utterly defeated, a limp noodle unable to even imagine doing any physical activity ever again. PLUS I'm in overwhelming, agonizing pain.

So, I'm in a tough place. I want to and intend to work out at a moderate level regularly, but I hardly ever do. I know that I need the various positive effects of the exercise BUT I am so terrified of making my pain worse. It's already bad enough too often. And I would love to experience an energy boost from working out, but I'm afraid of not finding the magic spot where I get this boost and instead get the total system shutdown effect.

in the pool with my niece and our hippo friend

My doc recommended getting in the pool as the very best thing I could do. Too bad I'm not a swimmer. However, I do currently live at a place with a pool and I have used it and find I can get a decent workout without exacerbating my problems too much. It's still not my natural habitat, though. I need to make it a consistent, regular habit to get in the pool. I also need to consistently lift weights and do yoga. A friend and I just started an accountability program where we check in with each other once a week about our progress in certain areas. For me, it's working out. My current weekly goal is lifting weights at least once a week and some form of cardio at least twice a week. This first week I only swam once, so there is definite room for improvement.

Any tips on how to make exercise a positive part of your life?

Book Review: 8 Weeks to Optimum Health

I've long been very intrigued with integrative and/or holistic medicine. It seems like the wisest choice - to consider health and healing from the perspectives of both ancient wisdom and Western knowledge. I particularly appreciate the inclusion of the spiritual and emotional sides of health and how they affect and interact with physical health. That said, I haven't ventured far in this direction in my own healthcare. This is primarily because I am very wary of many so-called practitioners of holistic-type treatments that aren't, to my mind, truly helpful and are just quack money-making endeavors. I would love to have an MD certified in integrative medicine as a primary care provider, but no such doctor exists anywhere near me.

Dr. Andrew Weil is a pioneer in this field and I've been aware of his work for some time and just finally found the time to read his book, 8 Weeks to Optimum Health. Overall I found it a very interesting read. I was pleased to find that many of his suggestions are already a part of my mindset and behaviors. I also found several new tips to add to my life. Certainly, parts of the book I will likely not engage with, but ultimately I think this is a fantastic plan for improving your health in a natural way.

For each of the eight weeks in this plan,  Dr. Weil provides directions in areas of diet, exercise, mental/spiritual health, supplements, and other areas like news fasts, avoiding chemical and energetic toxins, and appreciating art and natural beauty. Among his suggestions I already actively engage in are eating lots of garlic and ginger (currently OBSESSED with ginger tea, especially Twinings Lemon and Chinese Ginger Revive Herbal Tea and Yogi Ginger Herbal Tea Supplement - SOOOOO GOOD!!) and regular use of breathing exercises. New things I will take away include tons of great-sounding recipes, further encouragement to try adding fish to my diet, further encouragement to be more rigorous with my vitamin/supplement routine, being more considerate of energetic toxins, and perhaps trying a few herbal treatments. This final item is one reason I really wish I had in integrative medicine doc to call my own, since I am hesitant to bring up non-traditional things like herbs or any type of CAM treatment to my doctors. I also hate the nuisance that it is to talk to my doc before trying something like this.

The book included several little vignettes of healing, wherein people who have integrated the suggestions in this book into their lives share how they have become healthier in various ways. Included are a few stories of MS patients. One such patients writes: "I now regard the diagnosis of MS as a blessing in disguise. It brought me to a much more spiritual path and reminded me that my task is to be a healer...to myself." Also an MD, this patient ended up studying Ayurvedic medicine and uses meditation, breathing exercises, a mostly vegetarian diet, Qi Gong, regular exercise and the herb ashwagandha in her self-healing endeavors.

I highly recommend this book. To learn more about Dr. Weil and his teachings, visit http://www.drweil.com/.

Book Review: Flourish

I recently read Martin Seligman's Flourish. Dr. Seligman is one of the pioneers of Positive Psychology, a discipline that focuses on positive emotions and how to experience more of them. It's not about just putting on a fake smile and forcing yourself to think happy thoughts. Rather, it's a science-based approach to well being. I've read some previous work of Seligman, and the overall subject matter is something I'm very interested in.

This book expands upon previous work in creating what he terms authentic happiness. This book introduces a new theory of well being called PERMA, wherein P stands for positive emotions, E stands for engagement, R stands for positive relationships, M stands for meaning, and A stands for accomplishment. A PERMA-filled life is one not just of happiness, but of flourishing. I love the word flourish, and I think its a great thing to aspire towards.

I got lots of little things out of this book. I love reading about scientific research, and this book has a lot of it described in very accessible ways. (This is not a fluffy, frou-frou self help book. It's very much based in empirical scientific study.) There is also a lot of practical real-life application that left me feeling energized and optimistic.

I'll just mention a few little things I got from the book. First, the idea of "satisficers" as opposed to "maximizers." Satisficers are things that are "good enough" wheras as maximizers are things that are "perfect." For happiness and flourishing, generally satisficing is encouraged over maximizing. This was a big DING DING DING! moment for me. I've talked a bit about my perfectionist ways before, but let's just say that I often have a need for maximizing, even when - sometimes maybe even especially when - true maximizing is impossible, or at least causes significant negative side effects! I've been working on it, but I have a lot more work to do. Satisificing is the end of the world and will ruin everything!!! Satisificing is fine. Satisficing is okay. Satisficing is better. Satisficing is happier.

And a quote:

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” – preamble to constitution of the WHO, 1946

Another ding ding ding! moment. I so often focus on the presence of problems in my health, when there is very little I can do to change those things. I should be focusing on everything else, and what I can do to make that better, which will improve the overall state of health and happiness.

Check out authentichappiness.org for more information on authentic happiness, PERMA, and Positive Psychology. The site has tons of questionnaires and surveys and tests that measure things like your strengths, your GRIT, your optimism, your forgiveness and many more, if you're in to that kind of thing.

Tuesday's TaDa!

I like the idea of having some regular "series" on the blog, like yesterday's Magazine Monday where I'll discuss an MS-related tidbit I've read in a magazine. I have ideas for all of the weekdays, and I'll try to "premiere" them all this week. Then you'll probably see them here and there, but not every day and sporadic, occasional regular non-series posts will resume.

So, for Tuesday's TaDa! I'm going to celebrate a personal accomplishment by sharing it with y'all. I tend to put down or brush off my successes and I know this isn't always healthy. I don't want to brag, of course, but I think taking a moment to be proud of something is a good thing.

Today, my mom and I took an 80 minute walk along a lovely trail that we recently discovered. We're both trying to exercise more and work on fitness and general health. I'm also trying to lose some weight. I've been counting calories pretty consistently as well as trying to fit in more exercise. Exercise can be tricky for me, because most forms of it increase my nerve pain in my feet and legs. My neuro wants me in the pool every day since that won't aggravate the pain, but I'm not really much of a swimmer and don't have easy access to a pool. I've found that taking some preemptive meds before something like this vigorous walk helps mitigate the damage. I also find being in nature to be a great distraction from the pain. Anyway, I've lost about 20 pounds and I actually weigh what it says on my driver's license, my first weight loss goal. I still have a ways to go, but today I'm going to be proud of this accomplishment.

I've reached a weight loss goal and I'm exercising somewhat regularly, like today's awesome walk! TaDa!!!!!!!!!!

my favorite spot on this awesome trail

Do you have a TaDa to share? I'd love to hear about it!!

Being an Empowered Patient

I've been planning for a while to write a short review of a book I recently read, The Empowered Patient, by Elizabeth Cohen. To be completely honest, I didn't read this from cover to cover. This is actually something that is very difficult for me to do. It's one of my few obsessive compulsive tendencies: it pains me to not read books, magazines, even blogs, in their entirety. Cover to cover. But I've come to realize that there is just too much on my reading plate these days. Novels and much nonfiction and certain blogs I will continue to read every last word. But in magazines and certain nonfiction, I just have to browse and skim and take what is truly interesting or relevant to me and let the rest go. It still pains me a bit, but it's necessary if I want the time to read things I truly love, which I do.

So, back to the book. I read several chapters in their entirety and skimmed others. The book didn't necessarily tell me anything I didn't already know, but it was a very helpful reminder in many ways. Additionally, Cohen offered some interesting stories and examples and provided some very useful tips. The main "reminder" Cohen gave me was how to (and why to) be assertive. In many situations, being assertive is very difficult for me. When it comes to my health, I really struggle. I'm not a big fan of doctors, and never really had a positive doctor experience before finding my MS specialist neurologist. He's the first doctor I feel really listens to me, cares about me, remembers important information about me and more. Working with him has been a great experience. I feel comfortable and relaxed with him and I usually have no problem with being  assertive.

General health and other non-MS issues? Not so much. I generally avoid the doctor like the plague. I've never found a general doc I like or that I feel would ultimately benefit my health to see regularly. And with the docs I have seen, I feel anything but empowered and assertive. Cohen offered some specific tips and suggestions for how to get what you need and be assertive with doctors. Her website even offers some worksheets to bring with you to appointments. I'm not sure if I'll use these, but I definitely plan to use some written notes before, during and after my next appointment.

I was inspired to write this post today because of a podcast I listened to earlier today that also inspired me to get more proactive, assertive and empowered about my health. I'm a big fan of Jillian Michaels of Biggest Loser fame and I have been listening to her podcast in the car lately. In a recent episode, she was joined by Dr. Van Herle (the endocrinologist she worked with on Losing It) and something about the knowledge and passion and all the major issues they were discussing just inspired me to get my butt to the doctor! My neuro nags me every visit about finding a primary care physician, and it's been on my to-do list (the place tasks go to die, usually) for ages. Now's the time. Next week, I'm going to make appointments with an internist, a gynecologist, a dentist, and an optometrist! It's time to think big picture with my health. Managing MS is only one piece of the puzzle. My MS has actually made me more grateful for my body than I've ever been. I want and need to take care of it. It's a monumental task, but I'm feeling up for it!

I'm off for a week in Colorado to visit some family. The breathtaking scenery out there is always a huge inspiration as well. I can't wait to get out hiking in the mountains and really put this body to use!

Garden of the Gods  ~ Colorado Springs, CO
CLICK ON THIS PIC TO SEE IT LARGER. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!!

Resolutions, part 1

Earlier this week, I resolved to have a New Year's Resolutions post up by the 1st, so it seems like I've already started my year off with a failure!  Or not...because one of my biggest resolutions this year is to let go of my plans of perfection (like I previously discussed in relation to blogging) and follow through anyway.  A major pattern in my life has been not doing things I want to do and plan to do because I can't do them in the "perfect" way I've envisioned and planned, so I do nothing. Or I give up and stop anything I've started when I fall short of the perfect.  So this year, my only official resolution is to push past my ideas of perfection and just do it anyway, imperfectly.

This will play out in many unofficial resolutions, which I'm not writing down and formally committing to (because that would be part of the old pattern of perfection and setting unobtainable goals).  For example, health.  I'd like to improve here in several areas. (Wouldn't we all?) Discontent about the areas of my health that I can't control has led me to not do much about all the areas that I can control. I need to take more responsibility for my health.  There are the usual stereotypical resolution areas like getting fitter, eating better, losing weight, etc. and these are all areas I can improve on.  I'd also like to become a more empowered patient and get more involved with the MS community.

The idea is that I've known all of the little things that I want to be doing towards these goals for a long time, but I just don't do them, often because of my paralyzing drive for perfection.  So, I plan to try to act on, rather than just think about doing these things, when they come up.  I plan to look my need for perfection in the face and tell it that I'm not going to let it hold me back and just move forward anyway.  Perhaps a little paradoxically, my primary goal this year is not to hit the target, but to keep releasing arrows in that direction.

Expect another post on the subject of resolutions later, as I have more to say on the subject that I think deserves its own post.